Love the body you’re in: how Pilates teaches kindness through movement
I’ve taught Pilates for long enough now to notice a quiet pattern among the people who walk through my studio door.
They arrive wanting to ‘fix’ something.
A tight back.
A stiff hip.
A sense that their body isn’t doing what it used to.
Or a feeling that things are only going one way after 40 - and that way is downhill.
But here’s what I know for certain: your body is far more capable than you think.
Pilates isn’t about correcting a ‘problem body.’ It’s about learning to work with the one you already have - with attention, compassion, precision and patience. And when you approach movement with that mindset, everything changes: your mobility, your confidence, your strength, and your relationship with your body itself.
This is how Pilates teaches kindness through movement - and why that matters more than ever in your 40s, 50s and beyond.
Why we lose confidence in our bodies after 40
Somewhere in your late 30s or early 40s, you start to notice things:
You get up from a chair and feel a small tug in your back.
Your hips feel a bit more opinionated in the mornings.
You can’t twist or bend quite as freely as you remember.
And it’s easy to assume: “My body is deteriorating… I should do less.”
But this is one of the most unhelpful myths about ageing, and one I try to gently dismantle in every class I teach.
Science tells us that we don’t lose mobility and strength because we age - we lose them because we stop challenging our bodies in the ways that keep them adaptable. Studies on healthy ageing show that regular, controlled movement improves joint health, bone density, balance and strength well into later decades of life.
In other words:
You’re not fragile. You’re just under-stimulated.
And that’s something you can change - kindly, gradually and intelligently.
“Ageing doesn’t make you fragile - avoiding movement does.”
Pilates isn’t self-correction. It’s self-connection.
When people think of Pilates, they often imagine an instructor barking about posture or alignment.
But that’s not how I teach, and it’s not what modern Pilates is about.
Pilates is a practice of listening.
Listening to how a movement feels.
Listening to what your breath does under effort.
Listening to the difference between a productive challenge and a protective bracing.
This kind of body awareness - known as interoception - is linked with better movement control, reduced injury risk and improved emotional regulation. It is, quite literally, the skill of tuning in.
When you learn to feel your body rather than fight it, you move with more ease, more confidence, and more strength.
Why precision = kindness
Pilates is often dismissed as ‘just stretching’ or ‘gentle movement.’
But the truth is far more interesting.
Pilates challenges the deep stabilising muscles around your pelvis, hips, shoulders and spine - muscles that tend to switch off through years of modern living (sitting, stress, repetitive patterns). When these stabilisers wake up, your bigger muscles can move more freely and efficiently.
This is why Pilates feels kind:
You’re not forcing movement; you’re improving the conditions for movement.
It’s also why Pilates is such an effective partner to strength work - something I explore more deeply in Why Pilates Is the Secret Weapon in Any Strength Routine.
When your body is aligned and supported, you can lift, push, pull and carry with less strain and more confidence.
“Precision isn’t perfectionism - it’s protection.”
Kindness doesn’t mean avoiding challenge
One misconception I see frequently is: “If it feels hard, my body must not be ready for it.”
Not true.
Your body needs challenge to adapt - especially as you get older. But there is a difference between challenge and punishment.
Pilates teaches this distinction beautifully:
A stretch that feels tight but good? Safe.
A muscular effort that feels warm, shaky or switched on? Productive.
A joint pain that feels sharp, pinchy or nervy? That’s your cue to adjust.
This distinction is essential. Muscle activation, stretch sensation and effort are not warning signs - they’re invitations. Joint pain and sharp discomfort are the ones to avoid or modify.
The NHS Musculoskeletal guidance (2024) reinforces this principle: persistent or sharp joint pain should be adjusted, but gentle movement during muscular soreness is beneficial and speeds recovery.
Pilates helps you build this awareness so you can keep moving intelligently rather than avoiding movement entirely.
“Challenge builds confidence. Pain changes the plan - not the goal.”
The Mind-Body loop: why awareness improves strength and mobility
I often tell clients: “Strength isn’t just how much you can lift - it’s how well you can control and coordinate your body.”
Research backs this up.
Improved proprioception (your sense of your body in space) enhances balance, stability and neuromuscular efficiency - particularly in adults over 40.
Pilates sharpens these skills through:
Slow, mindful movement
Breath-guided control
Intentional alignment
Sequencing and coordination
This means you’re not just getting stronger - you’re getting smarter in the way you move.
Body confidence through movement, not aesthetics
Many forms of exercise still focus on appearance: tone this, flatten that, carve out those.
I take a very different approach.
Pilates builds a sense of deep capability, not cosmetic change.
It teaches you:
How to stabilise your pelvis during load
How to support your spine
How to access strength without bracing
How to create mobility without forcing it
How to build balance and confidence gradually
These are the things that make you feel stronger in real life - getting up from the floor, reaching overhead, carrying bags, twisting, lifting, moving with freedom.
This is what ‘loving the body you’re in’ looks like in practice: not smoothing its edges, but understanding its language.
Pilates & strength: a powerful partnership
Part of loving your body is understanding that it thrives on variety.
Pilates gives you:
control
stability
awareness
alignment
mobility
Strength training gives you:
load
power
resilience
bone density
Together, they create a balanced, adaptable, confident body - especially after 40.
If you haven’t already, you might enjoy reading:
How Pilates teaches kindness in five practical ways
1. You move without punishment
Pilates asks you to move with the body you have today - not the one you had 20 years ago, or the one you think you “should” have.
2. You learn to listen, not judge
Feeling what’s happening internally helps you respond instead of push through.
3. You discover strength in small places
Awareness builds confidence that grows into bigger movements.
4. You build trust through consistency
A little, done regularly, is more transformative than any big burst.
5. You celebrate progress you can feel
Ease, control and comfort are far more motivating than aesthetics.
“Pilates isn’t about changing your body - it’s about changing your relationship with it.”
If you want to feel more at home in your body, come join me
If you’re in your 40s, 50s or beyond and you want to:
move with more ease
feel more confident
understand your body
build strength without strain
and treat yourself with compassion along the way
…then I’d love to welcome you into a weekly Pilates class.
You don’t need to be flexible.
You don’t need to be ‘fit.’
You don’t need to know the moves.
You just need a willingness to show up for yourself - kindly.
Join a weekly Pilates class at Happy Body Pilates
Let’s help you feel strong, capable and connected in the body you’re already living in.